I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
