i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
