What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
