Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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