It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
