We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
