So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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