i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
