Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize