we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
