Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just pee around me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
