You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
