The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
