The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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