What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
