Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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