Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
