i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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