I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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