Got a toothbrush?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
