My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
