some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
