I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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