there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
