Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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