dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize