ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
