i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
