No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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