Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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