@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Swine flu is the new snow day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize