32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
