is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
