Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
