I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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