Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Text me some of your sweat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
