hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
