After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
