i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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