she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
