That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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