break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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