No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
