i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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