I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
