I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
