never play flip cup with pint glasses
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
