For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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