We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize