what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
