I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
