Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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