he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
