Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
