Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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