I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
