clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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