I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize