Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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