did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
