It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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