i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Text me some of your sweat
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
